To Halloween or not to Halloween

As parents we are faced with so many choices, and so much input on what is and isn’t good for our kids on Holidays, and let’s be real, I dread a lot of holidays.

halloween-2009We have to think about sugar consumption, over-stimulation, allergies, appropriate costumes, road-side safety, etc. Isn’t it a heavy burden? So let’s simplify.

For the last four years we have engaged in two awesome traditions. The first is Team costumes. We made Halloween a chance for attachment and belonging. So for the last few years we pick costumes out as a team. So here are a few versions of team costumes by us.

halloween2010

But for me all the holidays bring up the issue of being enough. I know they shouldn’t I know none of these days are really about me. But it is so hard to face holidays without some comparison. Did I make enough treats? Am I still a good mom if I don’t make it to even one of my kids Halloween parties? Is it okay that I bought all my costumes on Amazon because I don’t have time to sew them? I want to move through this day with a little grace, and if I fail am I still okay?

haloween-2011

On days like today when I fell out of bed at six, kissed the little kiddos who climbed into my bed, got my daughter going on breakfast, and got in the shower. Only to realize I forgot a towel, and conditioner (Because it was out and I hadn’t refilled it), then growled through breakfast, and mended a few costumes with hot glue, before running out the door to work, it is hard to think that is enough.

2014-halloween

I want to be the mom who made cookies, warmed cider, read stories, cuddled them closer, shared romantic smiles with my husband around the teenage eye rolls.

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I missed the costume parade. That one hurts the most. And it’s stupid that it hurts.But I know they wanted me there. And I have honestly only ever helped with One, yep just one, school party in my whole life. And I loved it. But I have to be at the office, typing these things on my breaks, to take care of my little people. They forgive me. I just don’t as well.

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So to myself, and to you working mommies out there, and you stay-at-homes who are swamped, it’s okay. We didn’t make it this year. WE ARE good, we love our kids, we hope the best for them. They are our team. And even if I never make it to another class party, I am good enough. Even if I only get to make warm cider for my grandkids, it’s enough. Even if I growl more than I should, we will laugh about it later.

2012-face-paint

For now, let’s simplify, they went to school in a team costume, knowing they belong together, with us. And that momma is enough. That is extra ordinary. I don’t care how much sugar they eat today. I will feed them good food tomorrow. And give them vitamins, because I am a good momma. Extra-ordinary is enough for me to love myself. And by loving myself, and forgiving me for what I haven’t done, I will be a better mother, and a better person.

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