Surgery day

Today I’m sitting in the children’s hospital. Not because some cataclysm happened but for minor surgery. My littlest is in for ear tubes, again. She is fun and spunky and decided our “date” to the “big kids club” where she got a bracelet with her name on it was pretty cool. I’ve done this so many times and still my stomach churns with anxiety. She will be fine. I need to settle. I grin and laugh with her and I’m just fine till she leaves in her darling plastic wagon with her new flower blanket.
Now I’m alone with just me. Tired from laying next to her all night. I worry that one minor thing will go wrong. Or she’ll have an allergic reaction. Or…
The truth is I love her. I want her to dance and smile. She needs this. She didn’t have a care in the world. I wish I didn’t know better. I wish I didn’t understand those warnings on the paper. But I do. I’m the mom. I realize I have so much to lose.
So I’m grateful for the experience to know how this goes. Confidence in the doctors taking care of her. And gratitude that she is my baby. Who loves me.




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