I am Rembrandt

boysMe, I am working on a masterpiece equal to the Michelangelo or the sixteen chapel. A masterpiece that will take my heart and most of my youth. And when it is complete it will be completely invisible. I will receive no praise for my work.
I oftentimes endure stares and isolation because of my work. I am the proud parent of someone else’s drinking. I do not blame her. She does not know that drinking while pregnant changes a child’s mind and makes simple choices into Mount Everest for that child. My child can learn to choose, I hope. I have to hope, it is all I can cling to. With proper medicine, therapy, social support, and family help they can learn to do, in many years, what unexposed children do in months.
But that is our battle. Teach them to be socially responsible. Teach them to think of others first. Take care of your responsibilities. Do the right thing, not what feels good so they don’t end up making a lot of babies and losing them too.
Our Mount Everest. Caused by alcohol during pregnancy.
An effect that doesn’t wear off.
And everyone hides it.
Alcohol is the most dangerous drug to all people.
Because it changes their minds for the rest of their lives.
So why don’t we know this?
We don’t want moms to feel bad.
We don’t want to have to regulate it. It would cost more than tobacco to fix. And no one cares.
Well I care.
I stand at the bottom of a mountain holding three small boys hands.
I’m not sending them to jail. I’m not giving up.
This isn’t fair to them. All other drugs wear off this one doesn’t.
They didn’t pick this.
I suck it up. Come what may. Come people who look down on me. Come Facebook criticism from those who can’t see the invisible. Those who can’t understand why we eat at 5 and not 5:15. It’s okay, you don’t have to understand. Be angry. I can withstand your fury.
I am Picasso.
We are doing this. Even if you never see my masterpiece.
I am creating a Rembrandt.

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